What Is Christian Marriage?
A1 Briefly
B1 A union of a male and a female in body, soul, and marriage.
B2 A union until death in this life.
B3 A union that can be broken.
B4 A union that must be broken.
C1 Abuse
C2 Desertion
A2 Beginning of marriage
B1 Adam
C1 Created in the image of God
C2 Did NOT have all wisdom, gifts, abilities, insights, etc. necessary for taking care of the Garden of Eden.
C3 All creation was judged by God, the creator, to be good. The only “not good” was Adam being alone.
C4 God wanted Adam to understand that he, Adam, could not be a full success in life without help. Adam needed God’s grace and wisdom and also another human.
C5 Genesis 1:31 NKJV Then God saw everything that He had made, and indeed it was very good. So the evening and the morning were the sixth day.
C6 Genesis 2:18 GNB Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to live alone. I will make a suitable companion to help him.”
C7 The world was cursed because of Adam’s sin, not Eve’s sin.
D1 Genesis 3:17-19
E1 Version 1: Genesis 3:17-19 NKJV Then to Adam He said, “Because you have heeded the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree of which I commanded you, saying, ‘You shall not eat of it’: “Cursed is the ground for your sake; In toil you shall eat of it All the days of your life. 18 Both thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you, And you shall eat the herb of the field. 19 In the sweat of your face you shall eat bread Till you return to the ground, For out of it you were taken; For dust you are, And to dust you shall return.”
E2 Version 2: Genesis 3:17-19 GW Then he said to the man, “You listened to your wife and ate fruit from the tree, although I commanded you, ‘You must never eat its fruit.’ The ground is cursed because of you. Through hard work you will eat food that comes from it every day of your life. 18 The ground will grow thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat wild plants. 19 By the sweat of your brow, you will produce food to eat until you return to the ground, because you were taken from it. You are dust, and you will return to dust.”
D2 1 Corinthians 15:21-22 NKJV For since by man [came] death, by Man also [came] the resurrection of the dead. For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ all shall be made alive.
D3 Romans 5:14 HCSB Nevertheless, death reigned from Adam to Moses, even over those who did not sin in the likeness of Adam’s transgression. He is a prototype of the Coming One.
D4 Romans 5:12-14 LEB Because of this, just as sin entered into the world through one man, and death through sin, so also death spread to all people because all sinned. For until the law, sin was in the world, but sin is not charged to one’s account [when there] is no law. But death reigned from Adam until Moses even over those who did not sin in the likeness of the transgression of Adam, who is a type of the one who is to come.
B2 Eve
C1 Because Adam did NOT have all the wisdom, gifts, abilities, insights, etc. that was necessary, God make a helper, a partner, for him.
D1 The word helper is usually used of God; thus, it does NOT mean a servant, slave, or lesser.
E1 The word help or help meet in Genesis 2:18 is Strong’s H5828 – `ezer
E2 It means aid, help; often concr. a helper, aider, Ps. 33:20; 70:6; 115:9; a female helper, Gen. 2:18,20. (Gesenius’ Hebrew-Caldee Lexicon).
E3 The Hebrew word is used 21 times in 15 verses. Of these, ezer is used of God being the helper in 11 verses.
E4 God is a helper and is not a slave or servant, so is true of Eve.
E5 Eve had gifts, abilities, and insights from God that Adam did NOT have and Adam needed to do God’s work.
D2 Without Eve, Adam was either unable to or only could do an imperfect work for God.
C2 Eve was NOT given to
D1 Make Adam happy. Eve was created because Adam could not carry out his responsibilities completely.
D2 Have sex.
D3 Be a slave, that is, obey everything without question.
D4 Cater to carry out every whim and desire of Adam.
D5 Have someone to instruct her in every little area of life, that is, Adam had to have someone so he could exercise the strong hand of leadership of guidance, because she is too stupid without him.
C3 Situations would arise that needed a solution. Adam did NOT have all the necessary wisdom to make a full decision. So, God created Eve to give another view and insight into a situation. This is the reason God state, “It is not good for the man to live alone.”
C4 She may have been the first human sinner, but she was deceived.
D1 Women are not more easily deceived than men.
D2 Women are not cursed because Eve sinned. Sin had consequences—death and corruption. Part of that corruption was to suffer pain in childbirth. Death was spiritual, of the soul, and physical. There are 2 deaths—physical and eternal.
E1 Physical death: Romans 5:12 NRSV Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death came through sin, and so death spread to all because all have sinned—
E2 Eternal death: Revelation 21:8 WEL “But the cowardly, unbelieving, loathsome, murderers, fornicators, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars will have their share in the lake which burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.”
E3 Spiritual death is death of fellowship with God. Humans NEED fellowship with God. Sin separates humans from God and fellowship with Him. Isaiah 59:1-2 NKJV Behold, the LORD’s hand is not shortened, That it cannot save; Nor His ear heavy, That it cannot hear. 2 But your iniquities have separated you from your God; And your sins have hidden His face from you, So that He will not hear.
D3 Eve did not attempt to boss Adam.
E1 A common interpretation of Genesis 3:16 is that Eve wanted to control Adam. Because of this God cursed Eve. Her problem according to these teachers is that desire means desire to control. She wants to control, because she is a sinner. (Compare)
E2 This is wrong.
F1 The word desire is the Hebrew word תְּשׁוּקָה tshuwqah. It means longing. It is used in 3 verses: Genesis 3:16, Genesis 4:7, and Song of Solomon 7:10.
F2 Because the word is used with Cain (Genesis 4:7), some teachers associate the word with control. (Compare)
F3 The word has nothing to do with control. It is desire and longing.
G1 Song of Solomon 7:10 is physical longing of husband and wife.
G2 Genesis 4:7 is sin’s desire and longing for Cain to murder Abel.
G3 Genesis 3:16 is God reminding Eve to still desire and long for her husband. It is not stated, but my opinion is that Eve was very angry when she understood what Adam had done and wanted nothing to do with him. She hated him. God wanted to remind Eve that it is God’s will for Eve to still desire and long for Adam.
E3 The word rule is misunderstood.
F1 There are 2 types of leadership—Hunter (domineering and controlling) and Shepherd (delegating and caring). See Leadership Styles
F2 The archetype of Hunter leadership is Nimrod, but the archetype of Shepherd is the Lord Jesus.
F3 It is ruling by love, not control.
C5 Had different gifts, abilities, and insights than Adam.
C6 Was a partner, not a servant, of Adam.
B3 To be one
C1 In fellowship with each other and God.
C2 To collaborate in solving problems.
C3 To unite in body, soul, and spirit.
D1 Bonding in sex. There are emotional and hormonal bonding qualities. See this for a Christian blogger on this topic.
D2 Bonding in soul. This would include emotions, strength, comfort, encouragement, advice, etc. Remember, it is not only man who has all the gifts, abilities, insights, a woman is given to offer what is missing. Any decision a family faces is better off with both sets of gifts and abilities being exercised.
D3 Bonding in spirit. This is in worshiping God together. A woman does NOT need a man to serve as priest. She is also a priest and can approach God. Both men and women believers: 1 Peter 2:4-5 WEL You are coming to the Lord [as to] a living stone, truly rejected by people but chosen by God [and] precious. 5 You also, as living stones, are built into a spiritual house, a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices that are acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.
C4 Matthew 19:6 MKJV Therefore they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let not man separate.
C5 To be one, husband and wife need time together, conversing together, and worshiping together.
A3 Love
B1 God’s love is agape love. It is the love of choice, not necessarily emotional or passionate. John 3:16 NKJV For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.
B2 It is the love of choosing to love. It is the love of choice.
C1 Not much emotional or passionate love when loving enemies, yet we are required to do so. Matthew 5:44 WPNT But I say to you: love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who mistreat you and persecute you,
C2 Humans do not naturally love evil. When they do, it is a choice: John 3:19 WPNT “Now this is the [basis for] the condemning, that the Light has come into the world, but the people loved the darkness rather than the light because their deeds were malignant.
C3 A choice: 1 John 2:15 WPNT Do not love the world, neither the things in the world; if anyone loves the world, the Father’s love isn’t in him.
C4 No one chooses to die in persecution, but we can choose to love God first: Revelation 12:11 EMTV And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they did not love their lives to the death.
B3 The actions of love
C1 Are seen in thoughts, desires, words, and deeds: 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a WEL 4 Love is very patient and kind; love is not envious; love doesn’t brag about itself, is not haughty, 5 Doesn’t behave improperly, is not self-seeking; love isn’t easily aggravated, doesn’t keep a list of wrongs, 6 Doesn’t rejoice in injustice, but rejoices with the truth, 7 Bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never ends,
C2 These are then seen in obedience to God’s rules for Christians written in the New Testament. John 14:15 GNB “If you love me, you will obey my commandments.
C3 So we are to love our spouse, our family, and our Christian brothers and sisters.
D1 Ephesians 5:25 GNB Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it.
D2 Titus 2:4 WEB that they may train the young wives to love their husbands, to love their children.
E1 Love husbands is the Greek word: φίλανδρος philandros
E2 Love children is the Greek word: φιλότεκνος philoteknos
D3 1 Thessalonians 4:9-10 WEB But concerning brotherly love, you have no need that one write to you. For you yourselves are taught by God to love one another, 10 for indeed you do it toward all the brothers who are in all Macedonia. But we exhort you, brothers, that you abound more and more.
E1 Brotherly love is the Greek word: φιλαδελφία philadelphia
E2 The second word love is the Greek word: ἀγαπάω agapaō
C4 Therefore, any abuse, be it verbal, sexual, spiritual, financial, physical, etc., is NOT love.
C5 Abuse is ALWAYS wrong. If you are abused, for any reason,
D1 Call the Domestic Violence Hot Line—1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY)
D2 Divorce
D3 Seek professional counsel for emotional support. Yes, you do need it.
D4 Tell your pastor last, because most pastors will revictimized you or abuse you spiritually. Avoid pastors who teach women need the strong hand of leadership and such.
D5 Further help: A Cry For Justice
B4 Making decisions based on love
C1 Scenario:
D1 Problems and other decisions are discussed. I realize that sometimes the other is not available or the timing is immediate. In those situations, a decision will be made unilaterally, and not berated by the other spouse.
D2 The decision is lovingly discussed. There are no raised voices. This is not a contest of wills but loving discussion looking at all the options. The husband has some gifts and will offer his perspective. Since the husband does not have all the gifts, he must look to his wife for her input based on her gifts and abilities.
D3 They discuss and discuss even more. If a mutual decision is reached, then it is followed.
D4 If it is not reached, then seek godly counsel.
D5 If there is still no agreement, then, in my opinion, the wife defers to the husband. BUT, if that decision proves to not solve the issue, then the husband defers to the wife.
B5 Investment
C1 Definition There are several definitions, but we will offer two.
D1 6. a devoting, using, or giving of time, talent, emotional energy, etc., as to achieve something.
D2 8. the act of investing with a quality, attribute, etc.
C2 We invest in our spouse. So, what do we invest?
D1 Time
D2 A listening ear
D3 Patience
D4 Kindness
D5 Helpfulness
D6 Prayer
D7 Family devotions
D8 All the qualities of love (2 Corinthians 13:4-8a)
A4 Other notes
B1 God created only two genders—male and female. They are biologically provable. It is not an attitude or choice. It is reality.
B2 Compatibility is a very wise choice.
C1 Spiritual (Some examples, not inclusive)
D1 Same belief and faith in Jesus Christ
D2 Same Gospel
D3 As close as possible, same doctrine
D4 Same commitment
D5 Same devotion
D6 Same daily fellowship, prayer, and Bible study
C2 Soul (emotions, personality, likes, dislikes, etc.) (Some examples, not inclusive)
D1 Introvert vs Extrovert
D2 City or rural
D3 Clean or messy
C3 Physical (Some examples, not inclusive)
D1 Similar tastes in clothes, food, etc.
D2 Enjoy each other’s looks
D3 Outdoors or indoors
D4 Exercise
D5 Diet
A5 Links (I don’t necessary endorse the web site or blog).
B3 If you have these character traits, repent and believe the Gospel.
Posted by Choco in 2018 at 15:15
Labels: Christian marriage, Marriage, Using love to make decisions


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