Submit and Obey? A Few Thoughts about Marriage Issues

Submit and obey definitions
B1 Submit
C1 English
D1 to accept that someone has defeated you or has power over you
submit to (Source)
D2 Accept or yield to a superior force or to the authority or will of another person (Source)
C2 Greek
D1 The Greek word is ὑποτάσσω hypotássō.
D2 There is both a military and non-military usage: This word was a Greek military term meaning “to arrange [troop divisions] in a military fashion under the command of a leader”. In non-military use, it was “a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, assuming responsibility, and carrying a burden. (Source) Amenable might be the closest English word: [amenable: open or susceptible to suggestion; likely to listen, cooperate, etc. Source]
D3 Ephesians 5:21-22 WEL Be amenable to one another in the fear of God. [amenable: open or susceptible to suggestion; likely to listen, cooperate, etc. Source] 22 Wives be amenable to your own husbands as to the Lord.
B2 Obey
C1 English (Source)
D1 to follow the commands or guidance of He always obeys his parents
D2 to conform to or comply with
C2 Greek
D1 Verse: 1 Peter 3:6 NKJV as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.
E1 Peter quotes Genesis 18:12 NKJV Therefore Sarah laughed within herself, saying, “After I have grown old, shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?
E2 The Hebrew word for lord is אָדוֹן ʼâdôwn. It means everything from owner, to boss (as king, etc.), and to God. It is also used as a term of respect much as we might say, “Yes, sir,” or “Yes, Madam.” It is not always used in the sense of someone who is an owner or king of the wife, etc.
F1 Genesis 23:5-6
G1 KJV: Genesis 23:5-6 KJV And the children of Heth answered Abraham, saying unto him, 6 Hear us, my lord: thou [art] a mighty prince among us: in the choice of our sepulchres bury thy dead; none of us shall withhold from thee his sepulchre, but that thou mayest bury thy dead.
G2 NIV: Genesis 23:5-6 NIV The Hittites replied to Abraham, 6 “Sir, listen to us. You are a mighty prince among us. Bury your dead in the choicest of our tombs. None of us will refuse you his tomb for burying your dead.”
G3 Comment. Abraham never was their king, boss, governor, etc. Abraham never ruled over the Hittites.
F2 Similar, but not common, uses are found in 2 Kings 8:12, Ruth 2:13, Genesis 32:4, Genesis 43:20, etc.
D2 Greek word is ὑπακούω hypakoúō. It means obey, that is, hear and do (for humans) and accomplished (non-human). The request must be heard, then it must be done. This is the meaning of obey.
D3 Other verses:
E1 Ephesians 6:1 KJV Children, obey [G5219] your parents in the Lord: for this is right.
E2 2 Thessalonians 3:14 KJV And if any man obey [G5219] not our word by this epistle, note that man, and have no company with him, that he may be ashamed.
E3 Hebrews 5:9 KJV And being made perfect, he became the author of eternal salvation unto all them that obey [G5219] him.
A woman: without her, man is nothing. For the quote see here.
B1 Scripture:
Genesis 2:7, 15-18, 21 NIV Then the LORD God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being. … 15 The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. 16 And the LORD God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; 17 but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.” 18 The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” … 21 So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh.
B2 Comment:
C1 “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
C2 Adam did not have everything needed to effectively do his mission. As an example, consider that there 10 gifts needed to govern and carry out his mission. Adam has 5 and Eve has 5 different gifts. Together they have the complete gifts needed to carry out God’s mission for them. The principle learned is that no one has all the gifts to live life. In marriage with the problems that arise, both husband and wife have gifts for solving the problem.
Mutuality in physical love
B1 Verse: 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 GW Husbands and wives should satisfy each other’s sexual needs. 4 A wife doesn’t have authority over her own body, but her husband does. In the same way, a husband doesn’t have authority over his own body, but his wife does. 5 Don’t withhold yourselves from each other unless you agree to do so for a set time to devote yourselves to prayer. Then you should get back together so that Satan doesn’t use your lack of self-control to tempt you.
B2 A husband cannot override his wife. If she is sick, tired, etc., she can refuse, and the husband must submit. Likewise, if he is tired or whatever, she must refrain her desires. Refraining from each other should be limited, for the Scriptures teach only for a brief time to give themselves to prayer. Note you must both agree to abstain. It is not just the husband’s.
Making decisions:
B1 Verse example: 1 Kings 22:19-23 NLT Then Micaiah continued, “Listen to what the LORD says! I saw the LORD sitting on his throne with all the armies of heaven around him, on his right and on his left. 20 And the LORD said, ‘Who can entice Ahab to go into battle against Ramoth-gilead so he can be killed?’ “There were many suggestions, 21 and finally a spirit approached the LORD and said, ‘I can do it!’ 22 “‘How will you do this?’ the LORD asked. “And the spirit replied, ‘I will go out and inspire all of Ahab’s prophets to speak lies.’ “‘You will succeed,’ said the LORD. ‘Go ahead and do it.’ 23 “So you see, the LORD has put a lying spirit in the mouths of all your prophets. For the LORD has pronounced your doom.”
B2 The principle taught is for us to seek viable solutions for a situation, problem, difficulty, etc. It is not always the husband’s will. The wife should be informed, consulted, genuinely listened to, and fully respected. If all decisions are only the husbands, then that husband is failing God’s will. The above passage is not teaching that God has the solution and that God is deceiving the spirits to make them happy thinking that their opinion is heard humors them for their opinion, but that opinion is meaningless. I believe that this passage teaches that God does seek on occasion genuine opinions. It is His style of leadership. We must adopt and conform to that style of leadership.
Love:
B1 Definitions
C1 ἀγάπη agápē:
D1 ISBE: Love, whether used of God or man, is an earnest and anxious desire for and an active and beneficent interest in the well-being of the one loved.
D2 TDNTa: Here is a love that makes distinctions, choosing its objects freely. Hence it is especially the love of a higher for a lower. It is active, not self-seeking love.
D3 This is love by choice. It is not forced or coerced. This is choosing to love and choosing loyalty.
D4 Examples:
E1 We don’t naturally love our enemies. We don’t emotionally love our enemies. It is a choice. Matthew 5:44 NASB But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.
E2 Giving is voluntary. God chooses to love those who freely give. 2 Corinthians 9:7 NASB Each one [must do] just as he has purposed in his heart, not grudgingly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.
E3 God’s grace plus our active choice is necessary to comply with this verse: 1 John 2:15 NASB Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.
C2 φιλέω philéō:
D1 The feeling of giving attention, concern, care, etc. It is usually applied to friendship.
D2 Examples (a few among many)
E1 Titus 3:15 NRSV All who are with me send greetings to you. Greet those who love us in the faith. Grace be with all of you.
E2 Matthew 6:5 EMTV And whenever you pray, you shall not be like the hypocrites, because they love to pray standing in the synagogues, and on the street corners, so that they may be seen by men. Assuredly I say to you, that they receive their reward in full.
E3 Revelation 22:15 EMTV But outside are dogs and drug users and fornicators and murderers and idolaters, and everyone who loves and practices a lie.
C3 Eros érōs:
D1 This is the feeling of ecstasy, bliss, and the feeling of wanting another to fulfill and cause this desire. It is associated with sex, food, power, etc.
D2 Also the idea of enjoyment.
D3 Examples (a few among many) For several other examples see here. Logos Bible can be bought here but is also found elsewhere.
E1 Proverbs 4:6 Logos Bible LXX And do not forsake it, and it shall cleave to you: love it, and it shall keep you.
E2 Esther 2:17 Logos Bible LXX And the king loved Esther, and she found favor beyond all the other virgins, and he put on her the queen’s crown.
C4 Natural love:
E1 στέργω stérgō which is not used in the Bible and means cherish.
E2 ἄστοργος ástorgos is the negative of the above word and is translated without natural affection in Romans 1:31 and 2 Timothy 3:3.
D2 This ( στέργω stérgō) is the natural love of parents for children and children for parents, etc.
B2 Actions: How love is seen in life. How do we know if there is love? These actions must be constant in public and private.
C1 Jesus
D1 Matthew 22:37-40 NLT Jesus replied, “‘You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”
D2 The example from the teaching about the Good Samaritan as in Luke 10:30-37.
D3 John 14:15 NRSV If you love me, you will keep my commandments.
C2 Towards others as spouse, fellow believers, enemies, etc.
D1 Love is not in giving gifts, favors, and things. It is giving of ourselves, our attention, and our time.
D2 These actions are found in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a WEL Love is very patient and kind; love is not envious; love doesn’t brag about itself, is not haughty, 5 Doesn’t behave improperly, is not self-seeking; love isn’t easily aggravated, doesn’t keep a list of wrongs, 6 Doesn’t rejoice in injustice, but rejoices with the truth, 7 Bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, calmly endures all things. 8 Love never falls away,
C3 If a person is not treated as taught in 1 Corinthians 13, it is doubtful that there is love as God defines it and loves.
C4 We are to treat our spouse with this kind of love including love for body, soul, and spirit. We are to be one with them in body, soul, and spirit. There is no idea of superiority or mastery. We worship as one. We work as one. We deal with problems and situations as one.
D1 Mark 10: 6-8 WEL “Moreover from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. 7 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, 8 “And those two will be one flesh. So then, they are not two anymore but one flesh. [Genesis 2:24]
D2 One flesh has the idea of oneness is all areas. If I walk from one side of the room to the other, then my head moves, too, as well as my feet, arms, soul, and spirit. So, there is oneness between husband and wife in life. There can be this oneness even if separated physically by work, education, illness, etc.
C5 Spouses are to have fellowship with each other. Christians have fellowship with God, so we are to have fellowship with each other.
D1 Philippians 2:1 NLT Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate?
D2 1 John 1:3 MKJV that which we have seen and heard we declare unto you, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And truly our fellowship is with the Father and with His Son Jesus Christ.
D3 The principle of oneness is to be among Christians, so how much more our spouse. Acts 1:14 NASB These all with one mind were continually devoting themselves to prayer, along with [the] women, and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with His brothers.
D4 As is true for the church, so is true for marriage: John 17:21 GNB I pray that they may all be one. Father! May they be in us, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they be one, so that the world will believe that you sent me.
D5 The principle that we must live in public and private the same as we talk is for Christians towards each other so more so with our spouse. 1 John 1:6 EMTV If we claim that we have fellowship with Him, and we are walking in the darkness, we are lying, and are not practicing the truth.
Abuse, controlling attitudes and actions, force, manipulation, etc. is not love and God allows divorce in these cases. See Conditions for Christian Divorce Updated.
A Few Thoughts about Marriage Issues
Marriage, submit, obey, marital oneness, physical love, decisions, actions of love
Posted by Choco at 07:20 on 21 Nov 20
Labels: Actions of love, Decisions in marriage, Oneness in marriage, Marriage, Obey in marriage, Physical love, Submit in marriage

 

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