1 Timothy 3:1-7 (NKJV) This is a faithful saying: If a man desires the position of a bishop, he desires a good work. 2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, temperate, sober-minded, of good behavior, hospitable, able to teach; 3 not given to wine, not violent, not greedy for money, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not covetous; 4 one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence 5 (for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?); 6 not a novice, lest being puffed up with pride he fall into the same condemnation as the devil. 7 Moreover he must have a good testimony among those who are outside, lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.
V1 “This is a faithful saying: If a man desires the position of a bishop, he desires a good work.” The Greek word for “faithful” is (G4103) πιστός pistos, which means trustworthy, faithful, and true. The Greek word for “desires” is (G3713) ὀρέγομαι oregomai, which means not just an attitude type of desire but an active desire by doing something. In 1 Timothy, 6:10 money is the desire, and in Hebrews 11:16, the desire is for a heavenly country (heaven). Sometimes the word refers to evil desire but also is used for good desires. A bishop is an elder, a church leader, whether pastor, elder, or some other recognized position. The Greek word means an elder (a position of supervision) needs someone who has knowledge, understanding, wisdom (experience), and prudence (in making wise decisions). This desire is a good, meaning that this is God approved work.
V2 “A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, temperate, sober-minded, of good behavior, hospitable, able to teach…” Blameless since we, in this life, cannot be sinless. So, there must be an effort to obey the Law of Christ (Galatians 6:2) in public and private. Any type of private, secret sins, disqualify for the position of bishop. He is to the husband of one wife at a time (as I understand it). Temperate is the Greek word (G3524) νηφάλιος nēphalios, which means sober whether from chemical or other types of influences; thus, self-controlled. It is defined as “Heedful of circumstances and potential consequences; prudent” (American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, 5th Edition). Sober-minded is the Greek word for (G4998) σώφρων sṓphrōn, which means “self-disciplined in one’s freedom, self-restrained in all passions and desires” (Word Study Dictionary). Good behavior = God approved behavior, not necessarily society or human approved behavior. It is an attitude, desire, and a daily behavior in public and private. He needs to be hospitable as needed, which does not mean taking in every and anybody. Being able to teach is not just a good speaker but one who is used by the Holy Spirit to explain the Scriptures in an understandable way (Nehemiah 8:7-8).
V3 “…not given to wine, not violent, not greedy for money, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not covetous…” This does not mean total abstinence but addiction. Personally, I avoid addictive substances as alcohol, etc. because of family history of some with addictions. Not violent is the idea of not being abusive or a bully. There are many headlines and news reports of “pastors(?)” who have this abuse pattern. No matter what else they may offer, they are disqualified from being a church leader. Some, on what is called the evangelical industrial complex, seek speaking platforms and book selling. See “Why the ECFA’s New Standard Won’t Stop Future Scandals, But You Can” (https://julieroys.com/why-ecfas-new-standard-wont-stop-scandals-but-you-can/) and The Evangelical Industrial Complex & the Rise of Celebrity Pastors (https://www.christianitytoday.com/pastors/2012/february-online-only/evangelical-industrial-complex-rise-of-celebrity-pastors.html). Gentle in speech, actions, teaching in public and private to people and animals. Not quarrelsome = not starting arguments, lashing out at those who disagree, etc. Covetous = desire for material and personal gain instead of being an under shepherd feeding the sheep (believers in Jesus).
V4 “…one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence…” The Greek word for “rules” is (G4291) προΐστημι proḯstēmi, which means to lead and care for. This is not just material caring but emotionally and spiritually caring as well. He sets the standard for the family (aligned with God’s standards) and makes sure it is followed while living himself to that standard. This rules out the patriarchy abuse, micromanage abuse, etc. Spiritual care would be working with, teaching, reading the Bible and praying for and with his family. Emotional care would be spending time with the family fulfilling their need for nurture and love. Physical care would be ensuring food and clothes, etc.
Here is an example from John Rosemond:
“Discipline involves three words that begin with the letter C: Communication, consequences, and consistency. What do you think is the most critical of the three?
“Communication.
“Right! The most important attribute of an effective leader, whether the context is a corporation, a charitable organization, the military, or a church, is the ability to communicate in a way that motivates people to do what they are supposed to do, to want to do what they are supposed to do.
“Today’s parents frequently complain that their children don’t do as they are told. That simply isn’t true. With occasional exceptions, a child will do what he or she is told most of the time. That’s a fact, not a theory. The discrepancy between what is absolutely true about children (they will do what they are told) and what parents report (many children do not generally do what they are told) is easily explained by the fact that most contemporary parents do not tell their children what to do. They ask. They even ask their children permission to ask, as in capping what they think is an instruction with, “Okay?” In addition to asking, they plead, bargain, cajole, and try to persuade, but they rarely if ever simply tell.
“Examples of telling:
“No, we’re not going to do that today, Billy. Perhaps some other time.”
“I want you to sit right here, Sarah. No, not there, right here.”
“I need you to pick up these toys right now, Thomas, and the television is going off until they are picked up and put away.” (Click!)
“Jessica, it’s time for bed. Not tired? Well then, my darling, you can lie in bed until you fall asleep.”
V5 “…(for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?)…” If dad is not doing his God given responsibilities at home, then he is disqualified to do so in the assembly. Consider 3 John.
V6 “…not a novice, lest being puffed up with pride he fall into the same condemnation as the devil.” A novice would be one who was recently converted or inexperienced in doctrine, Christian life-style, etc. Otherwise any “success” would lead to a temptation for pride. Pride has consequences as the devil found out. We don’t want any believer to be chastened by the Lord because of pride.
V7 “Moreover he must have a good testimony among those who are outside, lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.” Outside are those who are not Christians. No matter how wonderful a speaker, personality, etc., if outsiders disrespect the Christian leaders because of his past character and actions, then they must wait or never be a church leader.