1 Peter 3:1-7 (NKJV) Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. 3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— 4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror. 7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
V1 “Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives…”
The Greek word “submissive” is (G5293) ὑποτάσσω hupŏtassō.
What it is not: submission is not bowing, defeatism, nonresistance, obedience, prostration, surrender, boot licking, etc.
What it is: assent, deference, meekness, getting along rather than forceful dominance.
The English word submit and submission carries the idea of being forced not to rebel or resist, as surrender in a war. The Greek word has the idea of order in hierarchy. It has the idea of voluntary yielding without any force.
Additional information from the Outline of Biblical Usage: “This word was a Greek military term meaning “to arrange [troop divisions] in a military fashion under the command of a leader”. In non-military use, it was “a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, assuming responsibility, and carrying a burden.”
It may be used in context of involuntary enslavement (Luke 10:17-20 and Romans 8:7 (rebellion, refuse to submit, thus, not in subjection voluntarily).
Comments:
(Theological Dictionary of the New Testament (Abridged – Little Kittel)):
“In the NT the term has a wide range of meaning centering on the idea of enforced or voluntary subordination. The active occurs in Rom 8:20 to express the thought that creation is subjected to futility (cf. 5:12). The other active statements are christological. Quoting Ps. 8:6, 1 Cor. 15:25 says that Christ subjects all things (including death) to himself. Naturally this does not include God, for it is finally God who does the subjecting. Ps. 8:6 also underlies Phil. 3:21. Here Christ does the subjecting; he manifests his unlimited power by transforming the lowly body into the likeness of his glorious body. In Heb. 2:7-8 (cf. again Ps. 8:6) God subjects the world, not to angels, but to the Son, who is superior to the angels. The subjecting has begun but awaits consummation. Eph. 1:22 relates Ps. 8:6 to the enthronement that has already taken place, and with an ecclesiological reference. 1 Pet. 3:22 refers similarly to a subjection that Christ’s ascension and session complete. The common use of the verb of Ps. 8:6 shows that this verse holds an important place in the primitive Christian confession.
“The general rule in NT exhortation is that there should be mutual readiness to renounce one’s own will for others. Even when believers owe secular subjection, this takes on a new aspect and has a new basis with the common subjection to Christ. The demand for mutual subjection shows that Christian hypotássomai (G5293) bears a material relation to Christian tapeinophrsýnē (5012).” [Note: hypotássomai means “a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, assuming responsibility, and carrying a burden (Outline of Biblical Usage).” and tapeinophrsýnē means humility.]
(Holman Commentary):
“Submission is best understood as “to voluntarily yield your rights or will to someone else’s wishes or advice, as an expression of love for that person.” Another spin on the term would be to define it as simply considering the needs of your husband and fulfilling them (Marshall, 99).
“In all discussions related to submission, if the wishes, desires, or needs of the husband involve a direct violation of the Word of God, then submission does not apply. In such cases, to practice submission would involve violating the higher principle of obedience to God and his Word previously held out as the believer’s goal (see 1:14-15,22; 2:11).
“Submitting oneself to another is the opposite of self-assertion, the opposite of an independent, autocratic spirit. It is the desire to get along with someone else. It involves being satisfied at times with less than what one may deserve or claim as a right. The goal of this type of behavior is to win over to Christ the non-believing husband.”
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Unsaved husbands may be won to the Lord Jesus if the believing wife is voluntarily living in harmony with her husband.
V2 “when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.” See verse 1 notes.
V3 “Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel…” The Greek word for “adornment” is (G2889) κόσμος kosmos, which means an orderly arrangement. It is frequently used for the world (earth) or the universe. Wuest Word Studies):
“The word “adornment” is the translation of the Greek word Kosmos which was used in classical Greek to refer to the adornment or the ornaments worn by women. The word in itself refers to an ordered system, namely, a system where order prevails. The word in the Greek opposite in meaning to Kosmos is chaos, which comes into English in the word “chaos,” and which means “a rude unformed mass.” Kosmos is used in the New Testament to refer to the original, perfect, creation, a system where, order prevailed. Here the word refers to the adornment of the woman, and the genius of the word speaks of the fact that that adornment should be that which is fitting, congruous, not diverse from one’s character. That is, the adornment of the Christian woman should be in keeping with what she is as a Christian. She should not be a Christian at heart and her adornment be that of a person of the world.”
V4 “…rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.” What God considers beautiful is not always the same reference that humans have. We tend to look at the outward (1 Samuel 16:7); God looks inward to the heart, our soul. The beauty that God looks for and is pleased with is the beauty of character (Psalm 27:4 and Psalm 90:17).
Comments on Psalm 90:17:
Psalm 90:17: “Ellicott’s Commentary for English Readers
(17) Beauty.—Or, pleasantness. The Hebrew word, like the Greek χάρις, and our “grace,” seems to combine the ideas of “beauty” and “favour.”
Pulpit Commentary
Verse 17. – And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us (comp. Psalm 45:24, “Thou art fairer than the children of men;” Psalm 27:4, “To behold the beauty of the Lord;” Isaiah 33:17, “Thine eyes shall see the King in his beauty”). The “beauty of God” is upon us when we see and realize the loveliness of his character. And establish thou the work of our hands upon us; yea, the work of our hands establish thou it. The repetition adds nothing, except it be emphasis. God is asked, finally, to “establish the work” in which his servants are engaged – to bless it; that is, to advance it and prosper it. The nature of the “work” is not mentioned.”
We read of these character traits and grace about Jesus in the Gospels.
V5 “For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands…” An example from history.
V6 “…as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.” Continuing the example from history. The Greek word “lord” is (G2962) κύριος kyrios, which means a label of someone who is in charge of something whether government, church, tribe, business, etc. (Theological Dictionary of the New Testament (Abridged – Little Kittel)) “Historically the concept of lordship combines the two elements of power and authority. A true realization of the unity of the two arises only in encounter with God, who creates us with absolute power but is also the absolute authority before which it is freedom rather than bondage to bow. In the biblical revelation the humanity that rejects subordination to its Creator meets the one who with the authority of God’s ministering and forgiving love woos its obedience and reconstructs and reestablishes the relations of lordship.”
Sarah respected Abraham’s leadership in the tribe. The Bible does teach a hierarchy in government, business, church, family, etc. God delegates. God does not micromanage His subjects. He allows a good deal of freedom, but He has standards that if violated bring consequences and discipline. Whatever our leadership role (and all have some), we are to treat those under us with the same respect.
Barbara Roberts addresses abused spouses (https://cryingoutforjustice.blog/2014/10/25/1-peter-36-sarahs-children-do-what-is-right-and-do-not-give-way-to-fear/):
“But there is a limit to what wives should suffer at the hands of ungodly husbands. The limit is set by Peter’s command to ‘do good’, to do the right thing, even in the face of intimidation.
“Peter tells wives to do good and not give way to the fear of what their husbands might do.
“We should submit to our husbands only in so far as righteous obedience to God will permit.
“When a Christian woman who is being abused by her husband attempts to do good to her husband by (e.g.) admonishing him for his sinful ways, resisting his abuse, setting boundaries against his destructive conduct, etc., the abuser tries even harder to make her afraid of him so that she backs down and complies with his wickedness, which will enable him to continue in his wicked ways. Such a woman does good and the result is: her husband escalates and intimidates her even more.”
V7 “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.” A real man, the godly man, will do these things because he fears and loves God and his wife. He will love his wife with the actions of 1 Corinthians 4-8a.
We learn:
- About family order
- About family relationships
- Christian marriage versus ungodly marriage (meaning the style of marriage)